


How to handle

by DontBeAZombie



Category: Guardians of the Galaxy - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Birth, Hurt, Hurt/Comfort, Interspecies, Interspecies Relationship(s), M/M, Male Pregnancy, Miscarriage, Mpreg
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-16
Updated: 2015-01-07
Packaged: 2018-03-01 19:34:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,593
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2785148
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DontBeAZombie/pseuds/DontBeAZombie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>How Peter, Rocket and the team handle a tragedy. (Warnings/Tags contain major spoilers for the fic)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Peter never found it fair that he was never old enough to ride the big rollercoasters ones like his cousins had, He’d watch them with envy as his mother took him on the marry-go-round, or the tea cups. He remembers his mother repeating the same mantra “you’ll be able to ride them when you’re older” she’d smile.

Now he couldn’t wait to get off the one Rocket had him repeating, up, down, up, down, up, down, down, down. He couldn’t remember the ups anymore, were there ever any? Their relationship seemed to be in a constant downward spiral. Every conversation they had got more and more bitter. Rocket wasn’t budging an inch, he didn’t even seem to be trying anymore, like he not only didn’t care, but actively tried to make Peter suffer.

Peter pushed the idea aside, opening his groggy eyes to the black emptiness of the room. Rocket wasn’t there, which was common in the last couple of weeks, Rocket was never there. Peter rolled over onto his back, he listened carefully for Rockets footsteps on the upper floor of the Milano. Normally he’d go see what Rocket was up to, but after waking up the rest of the guardians from sleep due to an uncalled for argument, he decided to leave him alone, they worked better when they were apart.

Peter was very near sleep again, when a crash pulled him out of it. His imagination put pictures of horrifying scenes in his mind, ones with a badly injured Rocket, and what he was sure was a dead baby. He jerked up quickly, sprinting out of his room then up the stairs to the second floor. Rocket stood there, standing around a smashed bottle of booze, he was wobbling.

Peter became furious “Y-you’re drunk!?” He could tell, Rocket had a half empty liquor bottle in his hand

Appalled, outraged, he’d never thought so little of Rocket then he did seeing the 8 months pregnant raccoon plastered out of his mind “H-how could you do this!?” he yanked Rockets arm, he wanted to punch him, kick him, but restrained himself.

“F-fuck off Pete, I can do what I wan” He pulled his arm back, but it didn’t free him from Peters grip.

“No, no, no you can’t!” He yelled, tears swelled in his eyes “You’ve been stupid an reckless before, but this… this is.. Unforgivable!” His lips quivered, Rocket mimicked them. “Why couldn’t you have waited just one more fucking month!?”

“F-fuck you! Don fuckin j-judge me!” Rocket snarled, spitting in Peters face. “Y-you duno wha I’m goin through!” By this time Gamora, Groot and Drax were on looking. Drax seemed to be contemplating an intervention, as both boys seemed to be getting more and more heated. Rocket attempted to run passed him, only to have the large bottle grabbed from his hands.

“You’re going to kill him!” Peter tossed the bottle across the ship, smashing it where it landed, likely breaking something or blowing the circuit of something else that was now drenched in booze “You’d think you’d have even an inkling of guilt you fucking moron!” Peter pulled out more of Rockets booze from the cupboards, opening them and pouring them down the sink.

“Ya bashtard yer gunn pay fer them!” Rocket attempted to lunged, but vines that had wrapped firmly around him held him back. “I am Groot!” the tree said, only Rocket seemed to understand “tome of dem cust up ta 2000 units!” He argued back, getting pulled into the hallway by the tree. Peter continued to empty the bottles, so bent on keeping Rocket off the stuff he also emptied Drax’s own, who let him, understanding his frustrations.

Groot dragged Rocket to bed with him, intending to calm down the raccoon while the others handled Peter. Once every bottle way empty he leaned over the sink, crying in his frustration. “Why is he doing this!?” he asked as Drax pat his back, Gamora was picking up some glass. “He must hate me”

“I do not believe it is wise to try and understand the small one” he insisted, Rocket was always a mystery “As for the child.. we shall bring him to Xander tomorrow for an early check” he insisted, not promising everything would be ok, but at least he wouldn’t need to wonder for long.

—-

Peter was tapping the armrest of his chair in an annoyed and restless manner, He glared out the window at the happy inhabitants of Xander, There was still an hour until Rocket’s emergency checkup,

He heard Groots loud footsteps enter the room from outside “I am Groot” he said, trying to convey something, Peter didn’t want to listen to anyone, he continued to stare

“mmmm, I am Groot!” he said, with more tone as if annoyed he was being ignored. Peter jolted his head around “What!?” He yelled

Groot looked stern; he pointed out the hatch “I am Groot” Peter looked over to the door, then back to Groot to groan “What is it now!? Why do I have to do everything around here!?” He lifted himself out of the chair, sluggishly moving toward the hatch of the ship.

His senses faced him towards an odd smell, smoke. He saw his boyfriend leaning against the wing of the ship with a cigar, breathing in a deep breath of the toxic air into his lungs. Why was Peter even surprised? He stormed off the ship “Really Rocket?” He asked, just so frustrated and use to the others shit that he didn’t find himself reacting appropriately.

Rocket looked down, blowing smoke out of his nose before he tossed the cigarette to the ground and crushed it on the bottom of his feet “I’m just tryin ta relax” Rocket said, in a calm manner that Peter wasn’t use to seeing from him, at least not lately

Peter cletched his teeth, dramatically waving his arms as he spoke,“This isan’t how you do it! You’re going to seriously hurt our—“

“The babies dead” Rocket said in monotone

Peter stood in shock and silence, Rocket’s eyes were getting watery

“I lost him.. about two weeks ago” his lip began to quiver and voice cracked when he spoke “He just stopped movin, an I—“ tears started to stream down his face, he could no longer talk right, he was choking on words

Peter didn’t know what to say, his mind was in panic but all he could do was feel cry, he couldn’t help his kid, nothing he’d do changed anything. He turned his back to Rocket, rubbing his eyes with the sleeve of his arm. Rocket looked up to him, staring at his back “p-please! Do-don be mad at me” Rocket grabbed the tail of his trench coat, Rocket rubbed his wet eyes against the fabric.

Peters breath hitched in his throat, his cheeks were already wet with tears “I-I’m not mad” He took a deep breath in. “Ma-maybe hes just still… th-the doctors wil—“

“Y-you’d think I’d have g-gotten drunk if it wasn’t c-conf-firmed?” Rocket looked angry, the dryness of his eyes making them red. “I w-went to get c-checked without you… al-altra sound an all” he sniffled, nose running. “I’m getting I’m remove t-this week..I-I shoulda tol-told you soonher”

Peter was crying hard at this point, squeezing his eyes as tears rolled out of them, this was exactly what Rocket was afraid of seeing, every day he was plagued with the duty of informing someone he loved about something that would crush them, everyday Rocket thought ‘just one more day of happiness, just let him enjoy one more day’ but he knew eventually he would have to crush him.

Peter rubbed his exhausted face, he leaned on the ship, knees buckled as he slid down it, burying his face in his arms. It was hard to explain what he was feeling, missing someone he’d never met before, tearing himself apart when he thought of the plans he had made, images of birthday parties with a child that never lived long enough to experience one, all the baby names they had on standby would go to no one. He hadn’t met his child, but the love he had for it wasn’t shallow, he wanted to get to know it, and raise it with Rocket, now it seemed everything was falling apart and he didn’t know where to start fixing it.

Rocket sat beside him, pressing his cheek to Peters arm, a high risk pregnancy like there’s was always likely to end this way, but it had been so close, they both let their guards down. Rocket didn’t know where he stood, Peter was silent, aside from his hiccups and sorrow filled whimpers, murmurs and vocalized frustrations, he hadn’t said a thing since Rocket told him the horrible news.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Its a prequel

Rocket shifted in his sleep, on the kusp of waking up to another welcomed morning beside Peter Quill. Another full night of sleep without the internal kicking of his pup to wake him, He felt so greatful as he stretched his arms over his head, yawning wide, showing his blade like teeth.

“Morning Rocky” Peter Pecked the side of his muzzle. When he opened his eyes he was met with Peters gorgeous ones. “morning smelly breath” he teased.

“heh, yeah. I’m the one with bad oral hygine” Peter rolled his eyes, then cupped Rockets hips and pulled him on top of his chest. “My gosh you’re getting heavy” Peter poked his stomach, Rocket grunted in disapproval “I think you just got limp wrists, pretty boy” he accused back with a sneer. “I’ve seen the way you handle guns.. weak”

“You know how to hit where it hurts” Peter commented , moving his hands over his hips to the racoons extended belly “You’ve not been sick for a while.. must be getting close”

“Whatever reason it is, I’ll take it” He let Peter caress him, used to the stomach worship. “Lets go get some breakfast already, I’m starved” He suggested.

“hold on” Peter pulled his headset off the side table that was next to him, he put the soft headset on Rocket’s belly, which was wide enough that they didn’t fall off. As he pressed play, Spirit in the sky by Norman Greenbaum began to play off the headset. Peter changed it to track 8, one of his favourites, Come And Get Your Love by Redbone.

Rocket cocked a brow “This is inappropriate”

“What? It’s a good song” Peter bit his bottom lip and wiggled his brows “He might not be here without it, you looked so damn cute when I started singin”

“You find fear and confusion ‘cute’ huh?” he teased

“Rocky’s just playin hard ta get.. I think it’s pretty pathetic too, I clearly already got him” Peter spoke to Rockets belly.

“When ya start actin like a weirdo means it’s time fer me ta go” Rocket climbs off, the headphones came off naturally as he stepped off the bed. Peter kicked his feet over the bed, tossing a shirt on before chasing after Rocket with a dumb grin on his face.

“Would you guys tell Star-Dad that talkin to the baby isan’t charmin” Rocket said as he entered the room

“I hear it’s a popular custome in many primitive cultures” Drax said

“I heard that” Peter walked in

“I didn’t intend for you not to” Drax said as a matter of fact.

“I am Groot”

“It is not sweet” Rocket climbed up his stool, Peter nodde to Groot, silently approving of his statement.

“It may be stupid, but harmless” Gamora added “to think it could understand language at such an age is demented”

“You guys just don’t get it” Peter said as he began cracking eggs over a burning frying pan, three guardians eagerly staring at him like a bunch of hungry dogs, looks like he’d be cooking for five, luckily Groot didn’t eat eggs.

—-

“mmm, I’m gunna miss you Rocky” Peter kissed his love over and over again, holding him like he’d never want to let go, he buried his face into Rockets fur, smelling the thick scent of oil and copper, mixed with natural musk of a Raccoon.

“I think you can survive one night alone” Rocket insisted. “Now, go get that Jackass”

“Heh, you know we will” Peter put Rocket back on the ground, blowing the smaller Guardian kisses as he backed away. Rocket groaned in embarrassment, shaking his head at the very loving humie he somehow ended up with.

“I am Groot..” a concerned voice came from behind him

“Their gunna need you out there buddy, I’ll be fine. Pete set me up with a nice room an everything” Rocket insisted, it’s not like any of the hotels on Xander were low star, they were all immaculate, and very expensive.

“I…am..Groot” for a few days now the collosal had been acting a little strange about Rocket, he seemed concerned over.. something.

Rocket looked at his stomach “Don’t worry, I’m sure it’s nothing serious. Now, I’ve got an appointment ta get to”

“I am.. Groot”

“I don’t need Quill ta hold my hand, sides he’d just worry if he found out I was going to get another ultra sound. Don’t tell him” Rocket ordered “I’m sure it’s just me bein paranoid, who knew me feelin well would be a cause of alarm”

“I am Groot” He frowned

“heh, don worry, just get goin. I’ll tell you about it later” Rocket began to walk away, Groot looked reluctant before eventually turning to the ship to leave with the Guarians of the Galaxy, minus 1 due to maternity leave.

—-

Rocket laid out flat on the bed, he was use to this by now, he and Peter had kept a very close eye on their kid, this would be his fourth check, only one month apart from his last. His shirt was pulled up, showing his fuzzy belly.

“What brings you in so soon Rocket? Have you been feeling sore?”

The doctor had his note pad ready to write and document any concerns, because of their help to Xander, saving the planet and all, Rocket got very good coverage, the doctor even took an effort into researching raccoon biology.

“Na, not sore, just.. I haven’t felt him move in a while” Rocket patted his stomach “It’s stupid, but I thought I should be safe an get him looked at”

“Alright then, lets take a look” The doctor pulled out some jelly, slathering Rockets fur with it before applying the ultra sound. In an odd way the doctor had the screen facing away from him. He silently looked onto the screen, moving the device from one side to another.

“How’s he lookin?” Rocket asked, the silence wasn’t helping with his nerves.

He stared at the screen again, examining it for a long while before rolling over beside Rocket’s bed. “I’m sorry, it seems your baby as miscarried” The man said, looking genuinely sad.

The words hit Rocket like bricks, his eyes were impossibly wide, staring fearful at the other “I-it can’t..w-what can we do?!”

“There is nothing we can do now but schedule it’s removal”

Rocket began breathing shallow, but quickly. “Removal!? What about a treatment!? Drug!?”

The doctor tried to calm him down, he patted the others shoulder “I’m sorry, it’s passed away, there is nothing we can do for it”

“b-but how! He was fine a few days ago!” Rocket was crying now, tears fell off his face, he didn’t even have a chance to fight for him, or have an ahead warning, he was just there one day and dead the next, there was nothing anyone could do.

“It was a high risk pregnancy. Sometimes these things just happen” The doctor gave his best explantion

Rocket felt like a failure, he couldn’t even keep Peters child alive, all this time off, all the sickness, over eating and body aches were for nothing. He felt a bit of himself dying, empty, he began to feel the ghosts of movements, it made him nauseous, his lack of breath made him sick, he felt like he was suffocating.

The doctor patted his back, trying to get him to breath, or realize he was breathing. “I think you should call Quill”

Rocket nodded his eyes dry and red, his heart felt like it was being cut apart. His head and chest hurt, everything felt wrong. Rocket waited for his hologram to ring, shutting off the picture so he could not see or be seen. Eventually Peter answered in the same joyful tone he had left him. “Hello Rocky, miss me already?” Rocket could hear his smile from the other end. He wished he could see It, but after the news, he wasn’t likely to for a long time.

“Hello?”

Rocket hung up, he couldn’t tell him like that, he needed to tell him face to face, he’d let his humie enjoy the rest of his day.. just let him think all was well, he deserved that.

“If you want, I could infor—-“

“No, d-don’t tell anyone. T-this is confidential” Rocket sniffed, when he saw the worried eyes of his trusted doctor it prompted him to add “I’ll tell him myself.. when he gets back”

Rocket had spent the night on that hospital bed, allowed to leave at any time, but unable to stop crying long enough to get up. He fell asleep from exhaustion, ignoring the ringing of his phone as Peter attempted to call in.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *This chapter has birth

Rocket and Peter were mostly silent; they hardly spoke to one another and very little to the rest of the team. Rockets bad habits continued, drinking and smoking, Drax would have protested the harm being put on the unborn child, but the way Rocket and Peter were acting, he knew subconsciously what was going on, he mourned their loss in silence. He couldn’t comfort them on a matter they never shared, it would only cause conflict.

Rocket began sleeping with Groot again, they were inseparable, almost like when the team had first joined, only now Rocket acted as if he would break down completely if there was any distance between them. Groot had known before anyone, or at least sensed something wrong; he was the one who insisted on Rockets early check-up, before Rocket himself suspected something was off.

Gamora kept close to Peter, making sure to check on him consistently, bring him some coffee, or give him some vitamins, which he needed due to hardly eating but always playing with his food. Today they were in the kitchen, Peter stirring a spoon in his once hot coffee, staring at it. Drax was looking over a Xander newspaper; they hadn’t left that spot in a few days now. Gamora looked up when Rocket walked into the cock pit, Groot right on his heel.

“Pete.. I’m leavin in an hour” He couldn’t look up from the ground, It looked like he was going to say something else but turned on his heel and walked out rather quickly.

Peter didn’t react at first, until he rested his forehead on his arms, his breathing had gotten ragged. Gamora stood up behind him and rubbed his back, kneeling down beside him “Are you alright..” She asked, it was clear he wasn’t alright, but making people feel better wasn’t her specialty, she didn’t know what to do in this situation.

“w-we lost the kid” He finally said it, both Gamora and Drax frowned in pity, they knew, but it hurt hearing it outright, it felt more real and could no longer grasp at the hope that they were just being paranoid.

“I am sorry Quill” Drax said, relating to him and Peter more than anyone on the ship could. “If you need condolences, I offer mine” He sounded gentle, more so then he normally did. Peter lifted his head up, rubbing his greasy hair back “Thanks.. I jus..need time” He said

Drax nodded “Time is best, or you could always rip the spleens out from your enemies”

Peter forced a smile, for about a second before it turned back into a miserable frown “Thanks but no thanks, Not how I grieve, maybe Rocket..” Peters lip trembled more.

Gamora looked at the black water that filled Peters mug, then looked back to him “how’s he taking it?”

Peter shrugged “I don’t know”

Groot sat on Rocket’s long unused bed, the raccoon curled in his lap, shaking gently. Groot was patting him, occasionally saying ‘I am Groot’ which Rocket selectively responded to.

“Do ya feel anything..” Rocket asked like he had a number of times before, Groot put his hand on Rocket’s stomach, then waited. Truthfully he didn’t have to feel to know that nothing had moved, Groot could tell there were only two living things in the room, himself and Rocket, he could no longer sense the others life. After waiting what he thought was long enough he looked into his friends eyes and said “I am Groot”

Rocket shut his eyes tight, surprising tears, he had cried enough already. It was bad enough he was carrying this dead thing inside him, but also thought he was feeling it move; the doctor warned him about this, Phantom baby syndrome, it was common after a pregnancy.

At this point Rocket was just tired, exhausted from being so emotional for so long, he just wanted the baby removed so he could begin some sort of healing process where he could forget this mess.

The team walked to the doctors together, a taxi might have been more appropriate, but with Groot regular transportation wasn’t an option. Rocket stayed on Groots shoulder, looking dead ahead, only stealing quick glances to Peter who stared at the ground, looking a miserable mess.

Upon reaching the hospital, Drax and Gamora politely offered to wait in the waiting area out front, Groot went with Rocket and Peter until the raccoon jumped down from Groots shoulder, he looked up “Wait with the others Groot, I can handle this” Rocket said to his best friend.

Groot looked skeptical “I am Groot”

“I’ll be fine, I got Peter” Rocket said, Groot whimpered a bit and hugged his friend before letting the doors of the surgery room close, shutting him out.

Peter was a little surprised himself, they hadn’t been alone in a while, he was under the impression that Rocket couldn’t stand to be around him anymore. He sat in the chair. Rocket was behind a curtain, putting on a small white robe and removing his own clothing

“Listen Pete.. I can’t make ya stay in here if you can’t handle it” He climbed up on the bed, then laid his legs on the white sheets, leaning back on the headrest “I won’t hold it against you if you leave”

Peter rolled his chair in closer and took Rocket’s hand “I’m not going to leave” He rubbed Rockets trembling paw until the doctor arrived, along with a few nurses who quickly began prepping IV’s

The doctor relayed some information for the couple, just basic legal things; he went on to describe the procedure in a way patients could grasp. “First we need your legs up here” He said while making the stirrups an appropriate height for Rocket. He felt nervous with his body exposed like this, even the white blanket that was on him didn’t help.

The doctor put on a pair of blue gloves “Were going to begin by administering this medication” he stuck a needle into a vile, sucking out the content. “ It contains prostaglandins, which will help soften your cervix and start dilation. This might sting a bit” the doctor said before inserting a long needle just under the base of his tail. He injected the medication into him.

“Now, the nurse will hook you up with some oxytocin, a synthetic form of the hormone the body produces during labour” the nurse shaved a bit off Rocket’s arm, just enough to find his vain and stick it with a needle, she then taped it down to avoid it pulling out, she finished it off with a large, tight bandage before letting the liquid in the bag drain.

“You should start feeling cramping in 10 minutes or so. We just have one last question before we can begin. We can administer an epidural to numb you, you’ll still feel pressure, but the pain will be more manageable”

Rocket sighed, seeing how their child’s health wasn’t a concern, there was no reason not to take it. “Yeah, I want it” He wanted to be as distant from this as possible; he’d rather not feel anything. He leaned forward, feeling a small patch of fur become shaved off, then a jab in his lower back by his spine, it made him hiss, but eventually the spot went numb, and his lower half began to feel warm and tingly itself.

Peter rubbed gently over Rocket’s back, patting him and reminding him he was there, Peter helped him lean back down, now caressing his face Rocket turned to him, looking apologetic.

A few minutes passed and Rocket was looking a little antsy, he lifted his hips off the bed on occasion, and made a couple pained faces. “You feelin all right?” Peter whispered. The doctor had taken notice also, he checked out Rocket’s opening, nearly dilated.

“Rocket were going to have you push soon” the doctor said, Rocket nodded, feeling an embarrassing amount of fear, he tried hiding it, flinching when he felt Peters lips kiss his cheek, he looked through the side of his eye, feeling a little calmer.

“Alright, were going to try pushing once you feel another contraction, ok?”

Rocket took Peter offered hand, squeezing it tight. “Yeah, let’s get this over with”

He waited patiently, breathing the way the nurses had told him, the first push wasn’t so bad, he made it all the way down from the number ten before stopping, and inhaling a deep breath.

“Alright, it’s going to get a bit harder as we go. Make sure you keep breathing” the doctor said from between his spread legs.

Rocket felt the similar pressure again, he leaned forward, pushing hard, tempted to stop as it was getting harder, his insides full of pressure. He began to whimper before he could relax again, breathing heavier than the first time.

“Alright I see it coming” The doctor said, Rocket swallowed hard, feeling his lungs getting a little spastic as if he were drowning, his emotions were getting worked again.

“Shhh, it’s ok. Were almost done” Peter put his head beside Rocket on his pillow “you’re doing great” he left small pecks on his fur, letting his hand be squeezed as Rocket buckled down again, grunting as tears fell down his cheeks, leaving a trail of wet fur in his path

Peter knew Rocket’s tears weren’t over any physical pain, he was tough, had their child been alive, he bet Rocket wouldn’t have cried at all, he could only imagine the look of determination rocket would have worn.

“Alright Rocket, one more good push and you’ll be done here” the doc informed, Rocket felt fingers press in against his opening, rubbing around the blockage there. He sniffed sadly and looked to Peter who was looking away towards the doctor, or more accurately towards the baby, although he could not see it.

Rocket felt a wave of guilt; he turned his head to the other side, looking away from Peter. Rockets claws grabbed the bed, puncturing the sheets with his claws, he squeezed his other around Peter thumb, luckily Rocket’s grip was weak given what he was, but the pressure got Peters attention back to him. Rocket’s face clenched, holding his breath as he pushed with all his might, feeling as Peters baby left from his body, the doctor taking a hold and pulling it out.

Rocket relaxed on the bed again, unable to hear any crying, or joyful congratulations. He was too upset to notice the aching his body was feeling after all that work. The doctor put the baby in a glass crib, Rocket looked away, he didn’t want to see it. He just wanted to sleep.

“The epidural should wear off soon” A nurse said, she had an ice pack in her hands, she put it against Rockets hole “There’s a bit of swelling, but nothing to be concerned over” She said to Peter, who looked concerned about the ice pack.

“Would you like to see your baby?” The doctor asked by Peter and Rockets side, Rocket growled slightly “No, I don’t want to see it”

Peter was conflicted, He wanted to stay, holding Rockets hands and comforting him, but he wanted to see his baby at least once before it was buried. He leaned into Rockets ear “I’ll be right back ok?” He kissed Rockets forehead before he stood up and followed the doctor to the other side of the room where the crib was, wrapped in a warm pink blanket was his baby girl, skin a sick grey, eyes closed and not moving. He put his hand over his mouth; tears began to fall despite trying to be strong. He brushed the pink hood from her head, she had ears like Rockets, and little paws too, he wondered if she’d have grown fur, or just had a full head of hair like a human.

After a few minutes and a last goodbye Peter kissed her forehead, letting them wheel out her crib, he returned to Rocket’s side, who looked regretful, but didn’t say anything. The doctor wished them luck as he left to be with another patient, the nurses examined Rockets body to see that the healing process was going as expected, they warned about some after birth pain’s, cramping and symptoms he may have over the next week. She then described the signs and symptoms of depression, as if they weren’t both already experiencing it.

Rocket tugged on the nurses sleeve “Mind getting the big tree in the waitin room for me?” he requested “Theres two other with him”

After a few hours everyone was back on the ship, everything was uncomfortably quiet, or maybe it just seemed that way to Peter who was the last one up. He sighed as he decided if he was going to mope, it was better done in bed.

His bedroom door slid open; the room was pitch black before he flicked on the bright white light. He heard an annoyed groan that startled him, seeing Rocket pull the blanket over his head. He hadn’t expected Rocket to be in his bed, they had shared, for a long time now, but the past week Rocket had been crashing with Groot. He shut off the lights again “Sorry” he whispered, navigating the room in the dark; he pulled off his pants and shirt, content to sleep in his boxers since he couldn’t dig for a pair of PJ’s.

“s’ok” Rocket responded “I wanted ta talk to you anyway”

Peter got onto the bed, propping up his head with his elbow “What’s wrong? Are you feeling alright?”

“As alright as I should..” he said “I wanted ta tell you I’m sorry.. I know ya don’t blame me, but I’d feel better if you accepted the apology anyway..”

Peter shrugged “Only if you’ll accept mine..”

Rocket smiled very slightly “It’s a deal” He rolled onto his back, a few surprised grunts from his sore body, he rested his hands on his chest, looking at the ceiling “I feel like I completely failed you” he admitted in his time of openness “I keep thinkin of what I should have done differently, was I too rough, eat somthin wrong, move around too much?”

“You gave up a lot for her wellbeing. There was nothing you could have done further” Peter insisted, noticing Rocket’s ear twitch at the mention of ‘her’

“sorry.. you didn’t want to get personal with it..” Peter’s face went red, feeling ashamed

“It’s ok.. Can’t be helped. Like it or not I got foolishly attached” He said it in a very causal manner “I sort of wish I saw her” He admitted “I feel like I’m constantly forgetting somethin, like I should be feedin her, changing a diaper, rocken her to sleep. I wake up thinkin she’s dying of neglect, then I remember she’s not here ta care for.” He swallowed hard, thinking he was sounding pathetic, but he had to put those thought aside, he wanted to open up to Peter after holding everything in for so long. “Maybe if I got a look I’d have some sort of closure” He squeezed his eyes shut.

Peter didn’t know what to say, Rocket’s eyes looked cold and although he wasn’t crying, he hadn’t seen a sadder looking face in a while. “..Do you want me to describe her for you” He gently asked, Rocket nodded

“Well, she had a chubby face, blonds eyelashes, had my nose and mouth, but your ears and hands. She looked peaceful.” He said. Rocket rolled over, putting his muzzle against Peters chest and pulling himself close to him, his eyes were wet, but he was grateful “Thanks for that” for the first time in a month, Peter felt decent, the fear that he and Rocket couldn’t overcome this seemed silly to him, He felt confident that things would one day become a new normal, this traumatic event would become a part of who they were, they’d learn from it, become stronger for it, but it wouldn’t ruin them.


End file.
